


1. Aftermath

by veryloudfish



Series: River Ward made me write fanfic [1]
Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Help I can't stop, but I love all the River fans and fanfic so here you guys go, dark/heavy content from cyberpunk quests, first time posting fanfic omg, midgame, more incoming soon, some spoilers for side quests and main quest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:40:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28720632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veryloudfish/pseuds/veryloudfish
Summary: Midgame, post first mission with the Voodoo boys but before Transmission. A few days after River romance night. V just completed Gig: Dirty Biz and is totally wrecked over it.
Relationships: Female V/River Ward, V/River Ward
Series: River Ward made me write fanfic [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105454
Comments: 10
Kudos: 114





	1. Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I've been writing for a long time but this is my first dive into fanfic. I love River and I love the positive fandom around him. He's great and he deserves more love. I've really enjoyed reading other V/River fic, so I decided to share mine. Enjoy and thanks for reading! More to come! :)
> 
> Also, I'm new to proper tagging for this, so if I've missed something important let me know in the comments.

I stepped into my apartment, the door shutting behind me with a gentle swish, and I locked it with a wrist flick and leaned against the cold metal. Closed my eyes, took a few long, deep breaths to try and purge my mind from the afternoon, but I was bullshitting myself and I knew it.

“Fuck,” I whispered, running a hand over my face, still hot with a rage that hadn’t cooled since taking Regina’s latest gig. Of course I nailed the job, but damn it I wished I hadn’t answered her today.

No, not true. I wish she’d never needed to place the damn call in the first place.

“You should be feelin’ preem, V,” Johnny said, flickering into view a few feet away on the coach, feet up and smoking as usual. “If you hadn’t taken the job, those pedophiles would still be yanking around and--”

“Just stop, Johnny. Yes, I’m glad they’re dead and I’m glad I pulled the fucking trigger, but you’re in my fucking head. You know what all that felt like.”

He hesitated before making a smartass remark, opting for a thoughtful pull on his smoke instead, his gaze off to the side. Finally, he just said, “Yeah.”

I threw my hands up at him, frustrated at everything, and made my way to the fridge and pounded a beer. Then a second, and grabbed a third for good measure, before slumping on the sofa next to him. We sat in silence for a few minutes as I picked at the dried blood on my arms. 

“You saw what I saw on their computer,” I said when quiet became unbearable. “And how they couldn’t pin down who we were looking for because they had so many dead kids to choose from.”

My mind flashed to the farm with River, where we saved Randy and the few others still alive. And to the dead boys we didn’t get to in time. The thought of Peter Pan getting to live on in his coma, with no worries and no pain, not even knowing what was going on, while the survivors tries to piece their lives back together? How much pain it had caused to River and his family, and they were the lucky ones.  
And now many other kid snuffs those fuckers Gottfrid and Fredrick had in their BD bank. The fact that blowing both their faces off only meant some other asshole would pick up where they left off. 

“Should have blown up the warehouse, too,” I said, sipping the beer. 

“Still would be another one up and coming,” Johnny said with a shrug. 

“Thanks, makes me feel so much better.” I shoved off the couch and gave him the finger, wandering into the bathroom. The mirror flickered on, craters under my eyes. Also dried blood across my face, which suddenly made my skin crawl. Kind of spray wasn’t uncommon when you dealt with point blank executions, but I didn’t want anything of those fuckers touching me.

I scrubbed my face, but it didn’t help the crawling inside my muscles, my bones, my gut. Thinking about broken families made me think about my old nomad family and how it fell apart despite how hard I tried to hold onto the pieces. How Jackie and his had replaced that family, but then I lost him too, and Mama Welles and Misty were left with the wreckage. 

And now there was River, but _what the hell was I doing?_ Setting him up for loss after he’s just putting the pieces of his life back together? I’m _dying_. I should have never kissed him…

I could call Panam, at least to chat for a few, though she’s been busy with her new responsibilities. Or Judy, but she was still dealing with her own grief over Evelyn and what comes next. And while they were both friends, and good ones, the longing I had now ran deeper.

“Christ, V.” Johnny appeared behind my shoulder in my reflection. “Can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I’d rather ride-along-cop-fuck again then be stuck with this wallowing shit.”

“Because fucking solves everything? Did you ever care about anything you rammed your dick in?”

“Maybe, but not with this much grief about it.”

“Maybe I give a shit about hurting him. And about how he’s gonna feel when he’s left with you in my body? I can’t imagine you’ll let him down gently when it finally happens, probably make some fucking joke out of it.”

“He’s a grown ass man and you aren’t keeping secrets. Besides, he’s a lost cause even if you cut him loose now. Seen this all the time, men tied in knots over some lay, which I gotta say, you gave it good. Seemed he wasn’t half bad, I mean for a cop, given how tied up over it you are.”

“Fuck, can you ever stop? For even a fucking second?” I ran more cold water over my face, and when I glanced up again he was out of the mirror. His voice floated over from the couch.

“My point is the man already made his choice, V. And I know damn well how you feel about him, because I don’t have a fucking choice, do I? Cut the bullshit and call him, because this pity party is about to make me puke. I’ll even stay quiet for the entire night if you do.”

And he vanished, the phantom smell of smoke lingering in my nostrils, as much from the BD snuff warehouse as Johnny’s memories. I looked back to the mirror, hating that he was right and hating the fact I’d let myself get here in the first place.

I swung hard, the mirror cracking under my fist and cutting into my knuckles. It barely even hurt, and at least the pain felt anchored and real and fully mine – but then I was in that skeezy hotel room right after Jackie die, and that loneliness… I stared into the broken glass in the sink, the red around it, I admitted how much I was kidding myself. 

I wanted River. Johnny was right, he’d made his choice, said he’d stand by me after I told him about the relic and everything it means. I swiped the halo before I talked myself out of it, and he picked up on the second ring. When I caught him excusing himself from Joss and the kids, my mind spiraled back to the warehouse and those emails and the miles and miles of BD files…

“Babe? V, are you there?”

“What? Yeah.”

Concern knit his brow as he shut the door behind him and stepped out on the trailer patio. “What’s going on? You okay?”

“I…” 

Considered lying. Saying, _All good, just missed your voice. Just thinking about the other night, thought I’d give you a call. Miss you even though it’s only been a few days. Wanted to see how everyone is doing? Joss, Randy, you?_

River waited, his lips pressed in a thin line, giving me space to answer.

I rubbed my face. “No, River. I’m really not.”

“I can come to you. Could leave in five minutes. Joss won’t be seeing Randy again until tomorrow afternoon.”

I swallowed a few times, then whispered. “Okay.” I flicked my wrist, poking through my database for a few seconds and swiping him a message with privileges. “That’s the address and access to my apartment.”

Surprise danced across his features. He’d given me full access to his place the day after I stayed the night, but never pressed me for the same in return, never even pushed for exactly where I lived in Night City. Almost as if the cop part of him knew it would be better to keep my biz out of his side mirrors as much as possible. Well, he wasn’t NCPD anymore, and like Johnny so quaintly put it, I’d never lied to him about who or what I was. Or what I was becoming.

“Probably take me twenty to get over there. Good for now?”

“Yeah, fine. See you soon.”

He seemed like he might say something else, but I zipped the halo off, not feeling better yet for calling him despite the jump in my chest at the notion of being able to touch him soon – but not like this, not covered in pedophile blood. 

The warehouse computer screen flashed across my thoughts again and my stomach curdled. I tried to burn the memory away, but it dug in like a tick. I hadn’t realized I was sitting on the bathroom floor, so I struggled to my feet and striped down, throwing the soiled clothes into a pile to torch later. Made my way into the shower, scrubbing my skin until it ached.

I wondered why I hadn’t felt this same urge to be clean after the farm where we’d rescued Randy. I’d showered of course, but this soiled, tainted feeling was different. I realized what it was as I scraped the soap harder over my arms. We’d won at the farm. Peter Pan wasn’t going to hurt anyone else and we’d saved most of the victims, Randy included. It was a victory and an ending. 

This, today? I hated Johnny was right – again – but those bastards were one link in the fucked-up food chain and they weren’t even the killers. And those BDs, hundreds of BDs, were from kids already dead and the guilty were probably out there right now hurting more, and all I could think of was Dorian and Monique running through that Heywood simulation, eating jambalaya with their mom and uncle, and how could they be safe in this city? And how would River survive if something happened to them next? I barely knew them, but I wanted to see them grow up safe and that family of theirs never suffer again. I didn’t want River to suffer again.

Hell, I could almost imagine it. Being a real part of his family someday. I mean, if I wasn’t dying from a brain parasite. 

I stared down at the drain between my knees, the hot water running on the back of my neck and spine, the floor cold against my legs and feet. Closed my eyes for a few minutes, trying to think of nothing at all. 

My HUD pinged; I wasn’t sure how long had passed. Authorized access from the door, door closed and locked behind. I didn’t move even though I knew it was River. Wasn’t sure I could peel myself off the floor and face him. Johnny remained mercifully absent, but I could almost see him there, rolling him eyes and plugging his ears. It actually made me smile, and I swore I heard him chuckle from somewhere, but the sound vanished as soon as it came. 

“V?”

I leaned my head back against the wall, craning up to see River in the shower’s doorway. He seemed breathless, as if he’d ran all the way here. He slipped out of his coat, tossed it aside to the couch.

Grasping for levity, I opened my call log. “Eighteen minutes, not bad.”

“Never keep a lady waiting if I can help it.” River grinned a bit and sank into a squat. I could see the NCPD habits in his posture; giving the person he needed to question space while remaining open at the same time. Not reaching out to touch me until I signaled it was okay. He took in the scene around him; bloody clothes, broken mirror, bleeding hand. “You gonna tell me what’s up or you want to get out of the shower first?”

“Not moving.” My skin still itched. There was more hot water left, and I figured more couldn’t do anything but help. 

“Alright, tell me.”

I ran through it all, starting with the Vodoo Boys earlier in the day and how they tried to fucking flatline me, then wanted me to just stroll along and let them poke the relic. How I told them to fuck off, I still had other leads to check, even though I’m damn sure I’ll end up back there. Thought I’d hit up Regina, run a few gigs to clear my head and kill the rest of the afternoon.

Then I told him about Gottfrid and Fredrick.

I made myself watch the emotions warring over his features, knowing how he must be thinking about Joss’ kids, probably reliving Randy all over again. 

I wiped my eyes, the tears lost in the raining water. “Feels like could be five more fuckers tomorrow, and all this was for nothing.”

“Not for nothing, V. I told you how I left Harris alive in that bed, but that was different. He can’t hurt anyone else. Gottfrid and Fredrick? They were active. Taking them out was the right thing. I’m sure Regina agreed.”

Felt like a damn fool, but the words found their way out. “All I could think about was your family. What if it wasn’t enough and something happens again to Randy? Or Dorian, or…or Monique?”

Without a word River climbed into the shower, clothes and all, and his arms were around me, warm and strong and crushing me. I could barely breath, but I clung back, the falling water and steam filling the space around us.

“I never meant for you to carry my whole life on your shoulders. I’ll always be grateful for you helping me save Randy, you know that but… I shouldn’t be putting pressure on you when you have so much going on fighting to stay alive. I just want you to know that I…” He cleared his throat. “We can slow this down, if that’s what you need.” 

As he said the last part his fingers tightened, dimpling my skin. I laughed softly, my head resting against his chest. His heart was a drum, speeding up with his words despite the commitment to them in his voice; for me, anything.

“You really think I can just slow down what I feel for you?” I said, my hand tightening on his shirt, soaked to the skin. I whispered, “Too late, River.”

He caught my chin, tilting my head back so look at me, and my stomach fluttered; there it was, the same look from our first night together, the moment we reached his room alone and he turned my face back to his. But he didn’t move otherwise, only stared into me, and it felt like he was the only thing holding me together. 

“What do you need from me, V?” he said, his voice low, the hot water still falling, steam curling. 

I leaned forward, our lips almost touching. “All of you.”

He drew a sharp breath, his touch running along the line of my jaw, achingly slow. “You sure?” 

Sounded like it hurt him to ask, to give me a chance to tell him no, and the rest of the day finally fell away down the drain, because River, _this_ , was all I needed. Being here, safe with him, no longer alone, was what it took to wash the rest away, because together, we’d win any fight. I knew it in my bones. 

And I refused to think of the one battle he couldn’t help me with and Johnny kept his vow of silence.

“Never been so sure of anything,” I answered as I leaned in to taste him, stealing any more questions from his breath along with the softest moan which followed. The sound of him, his reaction to me, sent my blood racing. 

We stayed for a moment, tangled on the shower floor, my arms against his chest, his hands cradling my face. Then he pulled back, grinning like an idiot. “I didn’t bring any other clothes.”

“Hmm, sounds like a big problem.”

We stood together, but when I went to move out of the shower he blocked my path. I grinned back at him, crossing my arms and leaning against the shower wall, appreciating the damn fine view as he wrestled the wet tank top over his head and discarded it, the rest of his clothes following in short order. He spun in a tight circle.

“All of this, right?”

I laughed, because all of this definitely included the ridiculous banter we’d found between each other once a crisis melted back and it was just us, in these quieter moments, being playful and barbing on the same hand. I stepped forward, hands on his hips, delighting in the unmistakable shiver my touch sent through him. Let one hand slide a little lower to appreciate another aspect ‘all of this’ represented and was rewarded with a husky grunt as he stepped closer, pressing me against the shower wall with his warm body. Damn, I loved the way he reacted to me, like it would never, _ever_ be enough for him. 

But despite his levity, I sensed caution underneath. We’d only had sex once, and it’d been amazing and breathless and fun – but far away from anything resembling delicate on my end. I almost hated him seeing that side of me, rare as it came, but I wanted him to know all of me, too. 

And right now, all of me wanted to forget everything but all of River. 

I took one of his hands and guided it between my legs, letting him feel for himself exactly what I wanted. His forehead pressed against mine, his breath shuddering with desire. He moved is fingers, just so, and I bit my bottom lip.

“All of you,” I repeated. And he looked at me again, that look, and I could barely whisper over my own catching breath. “Now.”

He lifted me, hands on my ass as he pressed me harder into the wall, a tiny moan escaping my lips before he did anything else. I had ten times the augments he did, could probably beat him in a hand-to-hand fight if I made use of them, but he was raw, hard-earned human strength, this body of his, and then the thoughts fell apart as he slipped inside of me. I gripped the back of his neck as his mouth found mine, everything about the kiss raw and messy. 

I had to break away first, needed to breath, to moan for him, and he grinned at me this time, pressing deeper, then chased my collarbone with his lips and his teeth. I squeezed my legs tighter around him, enjoying his grunt in response against my wet skin, his lips moving to my neck, and his breathing echoing my own. This was what I wanted, needed, to matter to someone, and fuck, it felt good.

My HUD pinged, my ears only: HOT WATER RATIONS EXCEEDED; LIMIT ENFORCING.

“Shit!” 

River stopped, his head snapping up. “What’s wrong?”

Then he yelped, the water going from steaming to ice cold as the locks snapped on before I could warn him. I laughed; what else could I do, and we broke apart and ran out of the shower. Still laughing, and River laughing between obscenities, I grabbed towels from the bathroom foot locker and tossed him one, using another to dry my hair. 

“Sorry,” I managed, my sides aching and the laughter insatiable, especially with the dirty look he shot me, though it lacked any more bite than a kicked puppy. “I’m sorry! They’re total assholes about water rations here.”

“You could have warned me!”

“I tried!” 

River threw the towel at me, and I dropped mine to catch it. He closed the space between us, his body pressing along mine again. “Mhm. Can think of a few ways to warm back up.”

I dropped the towel, my eyes tracing the curves of his shoulders, his arms, the droplets of water gleaming in evening lights of Night City peeking through the shutters. The first time, well, it had been so fun catching him off guard when he found me naked on his bed, seeing that flush cross his features when I took control before he claimed it back from me. Now, though, he moved without any hesitation, his confidence anchored knowing I was his, and…it took my breath the way he commanded my attention. The way he walked me slowly backwards to the bed, a hand gentle on my hip, the other cupping my face, his thumb tracing my bottom lip. I was a damn lost cause right then, and he knew it.

“No smartass come back this time?” he asked, perking a brow. 

My calves bumped the bed’s edge. I had nothing; I could barely shake my head in reply. I just wanted more of this, more of him. He leaned into every move I made, sitting on the bed, laying back and inching my way deeper onto the mattress; he was there, his warmth never leaving my skin, his body radiating against mine while barely touching me. And when we were both in the bed fully, he kissed me again, and I was plenty warm. I was fucking melting. 

We stayed that way, the minutes bleeding together before his fingers starting wandering. When I moved my own hands, letting them appreciate those muscles he worked so hard on, he broke the kiss and caught my wrist, pinning it above my head.

There was that look again, the hungry one, and he shook his head. I tried to move my arm once, but his grip tightened, a smirk playing across his mouth and sending a rush along my skin, and I let him keep me pinned instead of fighting back. His other hand moved across my breasts, my stomach, my hips and thighs, and I leaned my head back when he explored the rest of me with slow, languid motions. His mouth found my neck, nipping my skin gently as his lips trailed the same path down my body, eventually releasing my arm. Mouth, tongue, seemed to know their way around as well as those clever fingers. My legs quivered, moans slipping out, muscles tensing along my entire body as he coaxed me along, legs over his shoulders, his touch and tongue working in tandem to drive me all the way to rolling, gasping pleasure. He reacted with my body, seeming to know just what to do to make the orgasm more intense, to draw it out until I had wiggle away and tell him enough.

But River didn’t let it rest there, crawling his way back up to me, and when I reached for him, he only let me touch his face before he was inside me again, moaning himself as we joined, and he caught my other arm and pinned it again.

“River,” his name poured from my lips with a moan, almost embarrassing how needy it sounded, but _damn_ , his entire body tensed at the sound and he was moving faster now, head burying in my hair as he struggled for control, then seeming to suddenly find it again as he leaned back to look at me. 

So I said his name again, let him see how it looked on my mouth. Another groan from him, sending electric tingles along my entire body. 

“God damn, V, you’re gonna kill me,” he said, half a laugh and half a gasp, his mouth claiming mine again, this kiss hot and dangerous and my body was losing itself again. I had to break away from him so he could hear me cry out, to pull him tighter as our bodies rocked together, nipping my teeth on his skin, feeling him start to climb as my body pull him deeper into me, and he finished with a few sharp inhales, his weight crushing against me, his breathing ragged and deep as my nails dug into his shoulder.

Neither of us moved for a few minutes, his fingers still tight around my wrist, mine free hand clinging to him. Then he lifted his head, and I thought he was going to say something, but then he was kissing me again, this time slowly, making me melt all over again. 

Why had I ever hesitated to call him? 

His hands tangled in my hair, like he wanted to pull me deeper into this kiss, and I held onto it and him with everything I had, and this time he was the one to finally pull away. His forehead rested on mine again, eyes closed. “You alright?”

“Better than ever.”

He kissed my forehead, slipping apart long enough to grab a towel and clean himself up before handing it to me for the same. I tossed it on the floor when I was done, shivering in the chill of his absence, but then he was back in the bed cubby with me, shifting the blankets and sheets so we could both slip under.

“Still cold,” he complained, pulling our bodies against one another, one arm tight around my waist, the other pillowing my head. I snuggled tighter against him, and the man let out a sigh which rumbled through his chest against my back. After a quiet moment, only the sound of our breathing between us, he said. “I can stay or go, V, you tell me what you want.”

“I’d never let you leave if I had a choice,” I said, the words kind of jumping out on their own accord. I tried to go with it, not let my worries or issues strangle the words. “I love that you’re here, in this space with me. Can’t tell you how lonely it’s felt the last few days since we were at Joss’ place.”

I could feel his heart racing, we were so close together. He reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear. A flush rose alone my neck and cheeks, and when I turned to face him, I found his expression intense before he turned his playful smirk back on. “Love, huh?”

My heart fluttered; part of me wanted to scream at myself for being an idiot. Loving meant loss, and I’d had a shit ton over the years. We’d only known each other a few weeks. The other part of me…fuck it. “And? Is that a problem if I love you, River?”

His bravado faltered immediately, and I couldn’t help but give him the same shit-eating grin he’d tried a second before, but I faltered myself when he didn’t reply right away. I propped up on one elbow.

“V,” he said, pulling me down towards him. “Problem? No, furthest thing from it. I love you, too.”

He’d implied it on the water tower, but hearing the words made my throat tighten. “Alright, well. Guess I don’t have to kick your ass out then.”

“Good, because I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you, V. Whatever you need.” Then he grinned again. “Except if you need another shower, because that was not the best shower. I mean, it tried to be, but…”

I punched him in the arm, hard enough for him to say ouch between laughs. And I believed him, settled in against his warm, solid body, his arms still around me, and felt like I might finally sleep, dreamless and content. For now trying not to think of tomorrow, and take and hold this moment as long as I could.


End file.
